30 Days of Blogging Honesty + 1 Dare – The Dare

All right, all right, I know – it’s way past the cut off for the dare.  Since I’m ending this extended month of honesty, I might as well be honest: I forgot to do a dare.  I had started writing a letter to my 16 year old self after I realized I forgot my dare, and ended up not liking it, and thought it was kind of too easy.  And then as the days went on, school started again, I really didn’t want to do a dare.  Whenever I played truth or dare with my friends back-in-the-day, I almost always picked truth because I really don’t like doing dares.  I don’t like feeling obligated to do something I normally would never do, and I don’t like being pressured into doing something like that.  So, yeah, I put it off because I don’t like dares, and it’s probably the one thing of this meme I didn’t want to do.

I ended up doing the category: Blushing.  The Dare entails: Spend an hour by yourself totally naked even if there are other people in the house but only if you won’t get caught. If you get interrupted you must start over and reset the clock to zero minutes.

I actually did this one twice, although technically the second time doesn’t count.  It was surprisingly easy – my parents don’t come bother me while I’m upstairs much, so I ended up just sitting in my room watching X-Files.  Pretty easy actually.  I got cold and put my jammies on though after about an hour and a half.

The second time doesn’t really count because I suppose technically I got “caught”.  I say technically because my interpretation of the dare was to be alone and naked.  Well, lets just say I spent amount of time naked with my boyfriend.  Good times, good times.

I hope everyone enjoyed the 30 Days,  I know near the end it was hard for all of us to visit eachother’s blogs.  But this year was a great turn out and it was really great getting to know everyone!

Poetry Thursday #58

It has been a lonnnnnnnggg week and it isn’t even over yet, that can’t be a good sign.  I’m not going to write too much before the poems today, it’s been a not-so-great week for me and I kind of just want to chill out for a bit.  I hope everyone else has been having a decent week and enjoying the nice weather :).  Anywho, on with the poetry!

I’m Fine
It’s easy to say “I’m fine”.
It’s easier to pretend
that every time you remind me
I’m not the one for you
my heart isn’t breaking
into thousands of little pieces.
I can say I’m fine
when they don’t invite me out
or talk behind my back.
I’m used to pretending
I don’t notice them avoiding me,
dodging my futile attempts
at talking to them.  It’s easy,
because I’ve never really been
anything other than alone.

“Happy? Really?” by VicciVoo on deviantart.com

Futile Dreams
I never want to sleep again –
never succumb to needed rest,
to lay my head upon my pillow
and fall into sweet R.E.M.

I never want to dream again –
to see the stars within my reach,
touching rainbows, swimming in
the oceans of my imagination.

I never want to sleep again –
it would be solace for my heart.
For when I dream, all I see
is your face looking back at me.

I never want to dream again –
to dream and see you smiling,
to smile back, to be with you,
to wake up and be alone.

 

"You Haunt Me You Haunt You Me" by p0m on deviantart.com

 

Poetry Thursday #57

A lovely Thursday to all of you!  It seems my computer isn’t quite as dead as I thought it was going to be, so a celebratory caffeinated beverage is in store!  I love CCBs (not to be confused with CBCBs, complimentary birthday caffeinated beverage, which are also awesome).  I made mine this morning, and made it all fancified (with warmed milk and foam), but alas it seems my mother has moved my cinnamon sugar – which is the ultimate topping for a CCB.  Boourns mom, boourns.  Maybe it’s a mother thing, maybe when I have kids I’ll start moving their stuff too, and I’ll understand the secret reasons why they do it.  That, or maybe I’m just blind this morning.  Meh.

Wow, that was a long ramble about CCBs, sorry bout that!  I guess it feels weird not having a post go up every day anymore.  Again, I’d like to thank Tom Baker for starting that little project, and though not many ended up doing it, I had a lot of fun.  And yes, I can take those oh so subtle hints about maybe next time someone else should write the questions.  I agree too, I just have to figure out how to trick Ryan into doing it…  I’ll have to persuade him with a SBCB (sneaky bribing caffeinated beverage).

Anywho, on with the poem for the week!  Enjoy! 🙂

Drops of Tears and Rain
Thunderous echoes, lightning sky,
the tempest’s din heard throughout
the night, waking all but I,
for I was wide awake.  My heart
ached and boomed like the thunder,
calling out in desperation, crying
out into the night sky, “All alone!”.

As our passionate storm cries on,
we grow weary from our loneliness –
for in our last act of sadness,
there was no solace to be found.
Growing silent to let the world
sleep soundly once more, the night ends
with whispered drops of tears and rain.

"Lightning Bolt" by MattTheSamurai on deviantart.com

31 Days of Blogging Honesty – Day 13

#13. My favourite activity to do alone is…

Teehee, this could be a very dirty question!  Well, only if you have a dirty mind like mine.  And yes, for those who are wondering, I definitely giggled to myself.  I am so mature.

I have a lot of favourite activities to do alone though (all of which are appropriate to discuss, you dirty, dirty minded people), so I had a hard time picking my all time favourite.  I think my favourite is shopping.  I do enjoy shopping with my friends, especially if I need advice, but overall, I love spending the day shopping by myself.  I don’t have to worry about taking up anyone else’s time, and I get to go to the stores that I like. 

Shopping is typically one of my activities when I have a “me” date.  I used to never really go out and do the stuff I wanted to do if no one would come with me.  But then I realized how stupid that is, and that I should be able to enjoy those things by myself.  Typically, on a “me” date, I take myself out for lunch (usually sushi), and read my book or a magazine while I enjoy a quiet, slow-paced lunch.  I often stop for a coffee or a tea, and get it as fancy pants as I want.  When I lived in London I always had my “me” dates downtown in the Market, so I’d always stop off for dessert at this yumtastic creamery that made their own ice cream and frozen yogurt and get a small scoop.  After lunch I go shopping, whether it be for clothes or whatever is in the area.  Sometimes I just go window shopping, and enjoy a nice walk around downtown or wherever I am. 

I love spending some quality time with myself, and definitely spoil myself a little when I can. 

 

Poetry Thursday #34

Another Poetry Thursday, hurray!  I just want to mention that they may sound a bit sad or upsetting to some of you, and just because usually I get people asking if I’m all right, I just want to reassure that everything is a’ok with me.  Sometimes I start writing and the strangest emotions come out.  And heck, sometimes the sadder stuff is just easier to write!

Before I get going with my poems, I did want to point out that I finally put my Book Bucket List page on Tuesday evening – so go check that out if you haven’t already.  Like I said before, I’ll be continuously updating it, and hopefully I can get back into the swing of things and actually take a few books off that list!  I’ll try to leave not on future posts if I’ve updated it or finished any books to remind you guys to go check if you’re interested. 

Without further delay, the poems!

Never Again
“Never again!” I screamed into the night –
echoes of my voice, ringing in my ears,
filling my heart with loathing, rageful, spite.

From the shadows, I see myself appear;
a forgotten person, lost long ago –
what went wrong, why I changed, that is unclear.

My double smiles, and nods a “hello”,
its presence haunts; images of before,
reminds me of what I want not to know.

I turn from myself, I plan to ignore
the past – from the life I left behind me;
That is not me, “never again”, I swore.

My shadow follows, I am never free –
recalling things I wish never to see.

"Never Be Back Again" by Vuk Adzic aka vulezvrk on deviantart.com

Banishment
Once before, I could fly – I could soar
into the clouds.  There was joy before
lightning struck. Forever on the ground,
still alive – but I feel like I’ve drowned
in a pool of my own wretched tears;
I have succumbed to all of my fears.
And as I begin to use my feet,
I feel myself collapse in defeat,
crying out “Why?” to my maker.  Crying
for what’s lost, wishing I was flying,
wishing I was living like the kings –
forever mourning my broken wings.
And life moves on, with or without me,
no matter how much I beg or plea.
I stagger on, keep moving along
without my wings.  And I don’t belong
in a world without the wind – no clouds
to protect me with their silver shroud.
I look up to the sky, see the blue
fantastic world, the places I knew.
And I can almost reach, almost feel
the only heaven I knew was real.

"Feathers" by Michael aka Malachy36 on deviantart.com