“I find your lack of faith disturbing” – Fucking right Darth!!
It’s May 4th which can only mean it’s Star Wars day! Now I’m not the biggest Star Wars geek around (thank God, or I would never get laid), but I do love Star Wars. I mean, it’s unbelievable that I actually still know people who haven’t seen Star Wars – it pisses me off as a matter of fact. Star Wars is a huge part of the media, and it should never be ignored BY ANYONE!
In honour of May the 4th, I have created a top 10 list of why I love Star Wars.
10. The Star Wars Universe
I really enjoy when a story doesn’t take place in our time line, on our planet, and especially in our universe. I find that when something is too familiar, or too realistic, it can really take away from the magic of the story. When a good story entices me, I’ll fantasize about that universe – and if it’s something new and completely different from what I’m used to, it’s easy to make it my own. Star Wars is great because it takes you away from your own world, and presents you many new places to fantasize about.
9. Classic Story
Star Wars is far from original, and anyone who wants to argue this point can suck my non-existent cock – it’s called Flash Gordan mixed with The Hidden Fortress. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I mean, you always hear about how there’s no original stories anymore – especially in film – yet why do we keep going to see them? Because we like those fucking stories that’s why! The first Star Wars was a simple and familiar story: young boy seeks adventure, goes off on a journey to rescue a princess and defeat evil – yet it was different enough to become so popular. The classic elements of the story are made original by the universe created. I don’t care if Star Wars may have borrowed a few elements from other stories, because I like those elements to begin with. And I mean, so many films have ripped off Star Wars – so really, imitation is the nicest form of flattery.
8. Strong Female Leads
All the Star Wars films can be such a boys story – with all the testosterone being thrown about the place, it’s a wonder that there are any girls in the film with half a brain. Although there are slim pickings in female leads in a sea of sausages, I’m happy that the ones present at least hold their own. I do prefer Princess Leia as opposed to Padme Amidala from the prequels, but that probably has more to do with shitty writing for the prequels than any effort from either of the actresses. I absolutely love that these women can be strongly feminine and also not too girly. They both from time to time require rescue – however, what girl wouldn’t like to be rescued now and then? And even in those situations, they step up and help themselves and those who are rescuing them. Plus, both of them have really cool hairdos and outfits – and as a girl, that’s just something that appeals to me. I’m sure the male fans appreciate other attributes of these characters, but that’s just what I like about them.
7. Boba Fett
What Star Wars list would be complete without Boba Fett? I don’t remember why everyone liked Boba Fett so much from my childhood, I just knew he was awesome. As I got older I started to get why this minimal character from the original trilogy is so fucking amazing – he’s just so cool. I dunno, I really do like the Star Wars bounty hunters, they’re so mysterious, dangerous and just fucking cool.
6. Love Story
This goes more towards the original trilogy rather than the prequel trilogy – and yet again that mostly has to do with writing. I really loved how Leia and Han got together, they hated and loved each other at the same time, and I dunno, to me that was just really appealing. Maybe it’s that girl thing, where for some reason a lot of us hate and love those guys who treat us like crap, and I suppose Leia is no different. One of my favourite quotes from Star Wars is when Leia tells Han she loves him right before he gets frozen in carbonite, and he says “I know”. It’s just so…awesome. The prequels are kind of bleh for me on the whole romance bit, I felt like they were trying too hard to make me believe they cared for each other. I can see why Anakin loved Padme, but I never really understood why she loved him back. Maybe that’s just me being an Obi-Wan shipper talking, or the fact that Anakin always bothered me. If the love story for the prequels were just as interesting to watch, this would probably be higher on the list.
What kid honestly didn’t want to be a Jedi when they were growing up? Fucking losers that’s who. The Jedi are just so fucking cool. The original trilogy made them seem mysterious, which was always appealing. But I really enjoyed how the prequels fleshed out the Jedi lifestyle, it made those mysterious characters have much more depth, more reasoning. The Jedi have a sort of religion, a code, that must be followed – and it’s far from perfect, but maybe that’s what I like about it.
4. The Score
Everyone knows the Star Wars theme, and the Imperial march. The score from these films are just so epic, and without the score, I don’t think Star Wars would be the same. John Williams is just amazing, and out of all the countless films he’s composed the score for, Star Wars is by far my favourite. Here’s a track from Episode 3, titled “Anakin vs Obi-Wan”. I know a lot of people don’t like the prequel trilogy, and while I don’t believe it’s nearly as good as the original trilogy, I still love it, and the music is still just as good (if not better):
3. BAMF & Delicious Eye Candy
As a girl, this of course is one of the main reasons I love Star Wars. I need some eye candy – and luckily since most of the cast is male, I get lots of it. Going back to Boba Fett, he’s a fucking BAMF (bad-ass-mother-fucker for those who don’t know what BAMF stands for), and though you never see his face (not counting his annoying kid-self from the prequels), you just kind of imagine he’s going to be hot. Plus, Han Solo is the ultimate badass – and for the record, Han shot first. Plus, from the prequels you got Obi-Wan, and man, I think he’s just tasty. Some fangirls like Anakin, but the whole creepy, whiny, teenager thing pisses me off. I’ll stick with Obi-Wan and Han thank you. Hmm, Obi-Wan and Han sandwich.
I have a thing for villains, they usually end up becoming one of my favourite characters. That’s probably because if they’re done properly, they can be the most memorable character for the films. I mean, just look at Darth Vadar, he’s one of the most recognizable characters in the world. For me though, it was Palpatine. He is just one fucking evil son of a bitch. You hardly get to see him in original, but when he does, you can just hear the evil dripping from his voice. And I love him in the prequels, you can always see the wheels turning, you can always tell he’s up to something. And if you’ve seen the originals, you already fucking know he’s the bad guy, so you get to laugh at everyone who trusts him – “HAHA You’re gonna get screwed over!”
1. The Force
I want to be able to use the Force – who wouldn’t? If I could move things with my mind, sway someone’s thoughts, sense things (Spidey senses?), see the future or the past, and even create lightning from my fucking hands – then I would just be the happiest person ever. It’s just one of those mystical things from fiction that I just think is so amazing, and I know I’m not the only one in the world who would love to use it.
So there you have it, my top 10 reasons why I love Star Wars.
May the force be with you.