I’m attempting to be productive today, but failing miserably. I’m sitting at the school drinking a coffee, not doing my homework and talking to a friend I haven’t talked to in a while. The topic somehow comes around to what fictional character would we have sex with. We didn’t elaborate too much, but later I was thinking “I wouldn’t want to just sleep with them, I mean, I’m not that easy”. I mean, if by some random turn of events I could have the chance to meet a fictional character, I wouldn’t want to just sleep with them, I’d probably wanna go on a date with them first. And that brings me to the list for today – the Top 10 Fictional Characters I Would Go On a Date With. My rules are that I can use any source (movies, TV, video games etc) for the fictional character, however, I only picked one per fictional universe. So there’s no multiple Harry Potter characters or Star Wars characters.
10. Jack Bauer – 24
Now for anyone who knows me well, they’re probably confused. Why on earth would I put Jack Bauer so low on the list. Don’t get me wrong, I fucking love this character. He’s bad-ass. But, I don’t think the date would work out. I’m conventional – I’m a dinner-and-a-movie type of gal. Jack however, would probably intend to have a quiet dinner, and then CTU would call and someone would get shot, and a bomb might go off…and knowing the luck he has, who knows, I could be the mole, but he wouldn’t find out until 8 hours later. And then he may choke me or torture me, and I’m just not into S&M.
Overall Date: quiet at first, but much too adventurous for my liking. I wouldn’t get much time to talk with Jack before I turned out to be the mole, and things would just get sour.
9. Zelos Wilder – Tales of Symphonia
For those who are unfamiliar with video games, or don’t like to play video games often, this one is great. Zelos is probably my favourite character in the game. He’s a womanizers, a schmuck, but deep down he tries to do the right thing. Zelos would probably be pretty decent on a date, he’s around women enough to know how to talk to them. Plus he’s a “celebrity”, so he can get into all the fancy restaurants. Although, I can be the jealous type from time to time, and my not appreciate his wandering eyes.
Overall date: A good time, mostly enjoyable until Zelos hits on another girl, forgets about me, and I have to throw my drink in his face.
8. Deadpool – Marvel Comics
I’m sure most people who have seen the film Wolverine are at least familiar with this character. I am definitely not a comic book type of person, but I can assure you that he is much better in the comics than the film. He’s mentally unstable, a bit of a lunatic, but just fucking awesome. He’s bad ass, but he’s also really funny. I’ve read a few of the comics online, and coming from someone who doesn’t enjoy comics much, I really liked them. He breaks the fourth wall often, and usually makes tons of references to pop culture. I think overall we’d have a lot to talk about because half of what I talk about is pop culture, but I think with his mental unstability I’d probably end up getting shot in the process. Oh well.
Overall Date: Good start to the date, a lot in common, but a trip to the emergency room or the morgue (on my part) would probably reduce any chances of a second date.
7. Vegeta – Dragonball Z
I’m not a huge anime person, but there are a few anime movies I love, and I have adored Dragonball Z since I was a kid. Vegeta has always been my favourite character from the show, aside from maybe Piccolo, and it’s just cause he’s such a dick. I have no idea why, but him being an asshole is so appealing. Why would I want to date a fictional character that is an asshole? Maybe it’s that female compulsion and need to change a man, or maybe deep down we all like assholes, I’m not sure. I think a date with Vegeta would be him insulting me, and then me insulting him. And I think I would sort of enjoy that, I rarely get to insult someone and mean it anymore – and I’m the type of gal that enjoys a good debate. I think I’d end up pissing him off though, and that’s never a good sign.
Overall date: No affection necessary, insult battle, then him probably trying to kill me.
6. Obi-Wan Kenobi – Star Wars Prequels
I needed to state the prequels because no offense to Obi-Wan from the original trilogy, I prefer the younger Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan is a gentleman at his best, and seems like he’d be pretty good to go on a date with. However, I’m not one to go to bars, and it seems that Obi-Wan likes his drink. I think he’d be very nice to me, however I know how I am when I drink, and I don’t think he’d appreciate it.
Overall Date: Good at first, but then I’d get drunk and vomit on his boots.
5. Fred or George Weasley
I couldn’t pick which twin, but I’m sure it wouldn’t matter. The twins are jokesters and one of the biggest qualities I look for in a guy is his sense of humour. If a guy can make me laugh then we’re off to a good start. However, I don’t particularly enjoy pranks – at least when they’re pulled on me. I still have nightmares from April Fools…*shudders*.
Overall Date: Lots of laughs until someone glues my ass to a toilet seat.
4. Captain Picard – Star Trek: The Next Generation
I don’t know what it is with me and older men – they’re just so appealing. Albeit he is old enough to be my grandfather. There’s no currency in the future, so it’s not about me being a gold digger so fuck off. The man knows Shakespeare, loves poetry, and is a fucking Captain! I think I would end up being a bit intimidated by him though, and when I get nervous I make an ass out of myself.
Overall Date: I’d be too impressed to say much, then when I opened my mouth, my foot would get stuck in there.
3. Wolf – The 10th Kingdom
I adore Wolf. He is one of the main reasons to watch the 10th Kingdom (which is amazing by the way). I think he and I would have a great time on a date for one reason in particular: we both love food. If I knew I would never ever gain another pound of weight ever again, I’d spend most of my time eating I swear. Wolf is the same way and I think we’d both make a restaurant make a run for their money.
Overall Date: we’d have an eating contest and I’d just barely lose. Possibility of me getting eaten (and not in a good way) if there is a Full Moon out that night.
2. John Sheridan – Babylon 5
I must have a thing for Captains…And now that I think about it, men with deep raspy-like voices. Good to know for when I look for a real man. John Sheridan is a gentleman, but he’s not above anyone – he’s respectful but he’s also fun. I think if he were real I’d be all over him – even in spite of the huge age difference.
Overall Date: very very good, damn I wish it could be real haha.
1. Chandler Bing
I love Chandler – I always say I need to find my Chandler. Considering he’s the most normal out of all of the guys on the list, no wonder he’s number 1. He’s funny, he’s sweet, and he’s just as awkward as I am. I think the amount of awkwardness we both create would cancel each other out. Too bad he’s not real – I still need to find my Chandler.
Overall Date: full of awesome awkwardness and uncomfortableness.
So there, my very sad and pathetic list of fictional characters I would go on a date with. Some people (*coughRyancough*) are probably wondering why certain characters didn’t make the cut, like Professor Snape for example. Some characters, though I love them, would be terrible on dates. And even though we get attached to our fictional characters, some of them would be completely lousy on dates, and some I would probably hate if I met them in real life.
Man, I need a boyfriend apparently. Oh well, at least these guys can’t literally hurt me haha (except for Jack who can do anything because he’s Jack fucking Bauer).
By the way I realize how sad and pathetic this list is, but everyone thinks about shit like this. Seriously.