Ripples & the Anchor
Lurking beneath my waters, still
below the trenches, an echo
beating against crumbling walls. A
name – buried but not forgotten.

Still waters ripple; tiny drops
of chaos against calm waters –
disturbing the tranquility
of a heart finally at peace

Murmurs of that name, whispers in the
distance – stray thoughts of the wicked,
and dreams of those forgotten seas;
a heart guilty of straying thoughts.

I have no faith, but yet I pray
for this anchor to hold me down,
stop me seeking those perfect storms
that both thrill and destroy my heart.

So where do I go from here?  *Cue Buffy the Vampire Slayer Musical tune here*

Well, one option is to give up.  That’s the easy route, the route that doesn’t feel like I’ve accomplished anything.

Another option is for me to take some baby steps to get back into my routine.  And it seems like I’m taking that option with other aspects of my life so I might as well do that with my blog.  I’m not ready to give up on my writing, and I’m not ready for everyone to give up on me yet either.  You can’t get rid of me that easy damnit!

So with that, I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year – and I hope that we can all stick to our resolutions.  Mine are to get my blog back on track to a healthy posting scheduling and to really work on it.  Another is to get back on track with my eating habits and trying to lose some weight.  I was so close to my goal and I gave up before it came into fruition, so I need to get back at it.  Also, something that may shock people, I’m trying to cut back on coffee. Though I love it and I’m very much addicted to it’s deliciousness, I know that the amount I’m drinking isn’t the greatest, and I shouldn’t let myself “need” to drink the coffee, instead I should just enjoy it like I used to.

Before I leave, I wanted to make a mini “Top 10″ list.  Which is a confusing statement because I have mroe than 10 items listed.  It is a mini list in the sense I am not going to elaborate much on it this time, just a few sentences per item.

Take care my lovelies, I hope to be back on track soon, don’t stop believing in me!

Side note before the list: This new wordpress posting format is pissing me off so much.  I hate the autopreview at the bottom – it makes the page lag so much that it becomes infuriating.  I’m an exceptionally fast typer, and this new layout doesn’t like it – often it just doesn’t get everything I type and I have to go back and fix things I shouldn’t need to.  I don’t like how I can’t find the “save post” feature or where to change the date of the post.  This may come up when I hit “post” but I don’t like how it’s set upt – it takes away the simplicity of posts.  Anyways, rant done.

Top 11 Movies of 2012 I’m Anticipating the Most (in no particular order) and Why

The Hunger Games

This is one of the few movies based on books where I want to read the book first.  The story sounds really interesting and the movie looks awesome.  What more can I say?

The Dark Knight Rises

Any surprises really?  I loved the first two films, I’m eager to see if this film will hold up to the rest.

Snow White and the Huntsman

There’s two Snow White movies coming out next year, and I think this one looks a lot better than Mirror, Mirror.  I just feel like the dark imagery will interest a larger group of people.  I think it looks really good, so I’ll probably go see it.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

I’m a huge fan of the Lord of the Rings trilogy films, and I have no doubt this will be an entertaining film.  I loved the book (I actually prefer the Hobbit so much more than that Lord of the Rings as far as books go), so I’m interested to see how this one turns out.

The Woman in Black

Ah horror films, how I love thee.  I think this looks like a decent ghost story, and I’m eager to see Daniel Radcliffe in something other than Harry Potter.  I think he’s a great actor and I want to see where he goes with his carer.  Plus this comes out close to my birthday, I’m prob going to drag my friends to see it.

Brave

I love Disney Pixar films – with perhaps the exeption of Cars.  But other than that, I’ve always been impressed with what they come out with, and I want to see what this one brings to the table.

Prometheus

I love the film Alien, so i’m thrilled to see Ridley Scott helming a prequel in the Alien universe.  This film could be a total sack of crap but I’ll probably still see it.

Django Unchained

There’s no trailer for this one yet, but I’m excited for it.  I am a Tarantino fan-girl, yes indeedio.  It could be a completely pretentionous sack of crap, but I’ll still love it.  Plus this film has Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Leonarod DiCaprio, Sam Jackson, Kurt Russel and Christopher Waltz to name a few – and whether it be crap or not, I’m sure it’ll be at least entertaining.

Dredd

Another film without a trailer.  My interest in this film may diminish once I see the trailer, but for right now it sounds like an interesting adaptation on the comics.  We’ll have to see I suppose.

Cabin in the Woods

Yes, another fan-girl pick for me.  I love Joss Whedon, so I’ve been following this project closely once heard out it.  I like the spin on a classic horror film trope. 

The Secret World of Arrietty

Big fan of Hayao Miyazaki films, they are always beautiful and just amazing to watch.  This also is supposed to come out near my birthday, double feature mayhaps?

With that, I do have one poem I’d like to share this week.  I’m not overly impressed with it, but I haven’t shared anything in a while so I thought this would suffice.  I usually participate in the Thursday Poets Rally, but I know that if I did I wouldn’t have the time to read all the amazing work being shared this week.  So perhaps next time!  I was nominated for an award for my last entry, so thank you – you can check out the post here as well as my acceptance: You’ve Taken My Voice.

Now on with my poem!

Three Words
Heavy words fall on quivering lips.
The weight of those words
met with knots in my stomach.

They push upon my heart,
each aorta struggling
to find its regular rhythm.

These words are dangerous;
they tear through my body,
desperately wanting to be heard.

These words are coated in fear -
fear those three words won’t
be echoed back from your lips.

"I'm Afraid To Love You" by Marta aka fantasmagoryczny on deviantart.com

Welcome to the Second Annual Community Networking Meme!  If you’re unsure of what this is, I recommend you check out Tom Baker’s blog, Morning Erection, for a complete list of details.  To sum up, a list of bloggers participating have posted this blog at the same exact time around the world, answering the following questions.  At the end of my questions, I have a list of the other bloggers participating.  Enjoy!

1. As a blogger, what do you draw inspirations from for your posts?

For the most part, my inspirations come from my emotions and experiences from my every day life – especially when it comes to my poetry.  If I’m writing a post like a top ten list, I usually just go with what I know, no real inspiration necessary.  This is probably why I’ve been lacking in posts lately, with working split shifts and extra hours, all I know is work, and all I feel is tired.  There’s only so many poems you can write about being tired!
 
2. If you could swap blogs with another blogger for a post, who would you switch with and why?

There’s so many blogs I’d love to switch with!  Of course it’d be fun to switch with Broken Sparkles because we both have different styles of poetry, it’d be fun to see what we’d share on each other’s blogs.  Maybe Morning Erection so I could make Tom write poetry again.  But I think one I think would be a lot of fun would be to swap with Nerds of the Round Table.  I love the stuff they write about (being a nerd myself), and I think I’d have fun writing a post for them.

3. If your blog had a theme song, what would it be? Why?

I had such a hard time with this question, mostly because I didn’t know what kind of song my blog “suited”.  I ended up putting my playlist on shuffle and the two first songs were Like a Boss by The Lonely Island or Come Out and Play cover by Richard Cheese (the version online I found definitely is not the best version, the one I have from the cd is way better, sorry).  I think the first one would suit my blog because I feel sometimes I hold a false sense of arrogance on my blog (for comedy purposes of course…But I am totally badass and you know it).  As for the second one, I think it reflects the fact that I can have fun on my blog, it’s not all serious poetry or thoughts, but jokes and randomness too.  Plus it’s all lounge style, so it sounds way cooler and more suave than the original song actually was.  And I definitely try to come off as more cool than I really am.

4. What is your writing process for a post?

It all depends on what post I’m writing.  If I’m writing a poem, I don’t really have a process; I kind of just write what I feel, or about something I’m inspired by.  When it comes to a top ten list, I typically compile the list itself first, order it, and then I write the filler.  The Coffee Wars posts take the longest I find, mostly because I have to get a good image of the beverages first, which doesn’t always happen.  Then I have to think about which one I enjoyed more and why, and yeah, sometimes that just takes too long because I’m not that picky of a person.  Typically though, images are found last on any post, I plop them in and then I edit.  Nothing really spectacular really, I just sit down and write and there you have it.  Though I almost always need a coffee (and a fancy coffee to boot – lots of foam for me!), and I like to listen to some music, it’s just my routine I guess.

5. Your blog requires a cute, new, mascot – what would it be?

The dancing coffee cup from my intermission images from the 31 Days of Blogging Honesty posts.  It’s a cartoon dancing coffee cup, how much more fantastic can you get?

6. Do you feel you express your “true self” on your blog?

Yes and no.  Whatever I do share on my blog, I don’t lie about.  I’m never lying when I say I’m working a lot, or that I’m tired, or that I’m having a good day, or whatever I say.  With that said, I don’t share everything on my blog.  I can be a very private person (which some people find hard to believe because I can be so loud), so there are some things I don’t feel I can open up about, especially with a bunch of people I’ve never met.  Hell, I can rarely open up about things I feel with people I love and trust, so it’s not you, it’s me.  I think the truest form of myself you can find is on the post Singlehood and Craving Intimacy.  As far as my poems go, they also hold the truest form of myself I’ve ever shared on my blog.  There are some poems, that even though they are ambiguous or metaphorical, there’s a lot of who I am written in each word and spoken with the words I didn’t say but through the emotions I tried to invoke.

There are some things I don’t share to protect myself or those I love – I try to use names very little unless I have permission or if I feel it’s absolutely necessary.  I also haven’t mentioned where I work outside of what I do there, because I don’t want to disrespect the companies I work for inadvertently and basically I’m covering my own ass.

7. What is your biggest online pet-peeve?

There’s soooo many.  My first one is: pEoPlE wHO tALk lIkE THiS!!!.  Or how about: ppl who tlk like dat is da gr8st thing eva, u no wat i mean?  Come on people, learn to spell properly!

Oh and then there’s those girls who take pictures of themselves wearing little to nothing (and almost always in a bathroom for some reason), and they have their makeup caked on, trying to look hot when they just look desperate and skanky.  When you add the infamous “duck face” the equation, it just really grinds my gears.

The last online pet-peeve is when I see comments that are just rude to be rude.  And no site is safe – I’ve had comments on my site.  One guy came out here, called me a fat cow basically and said I was disgusting.  I have no idea why he said, who he was, and what the point of that comment was.  It’s like when I see a comment on a youtube video and someone calls someone a “fag” or “gay”, like that’s supposed to be an insult (fucking ignorant people).  Anyway, rant complete.

8. If you could live in a fictional universe, where would you live? Why?

Again, too many answers to pick from.  I think I’d live in the Star Wars universe.  I almost picked the Harry Potter universe, but only if I could be a wizard.  The problem with the Harry Potter universe is thoughts like “are wizards not taught how to do basic math, or writing skills”.  Plus there’s a lot of issues with muggle treatment, and I’d probably be a target of a Death Eater attack.  And as much as I’d love to go to Hogwarts to woo Professor Snape, I think I’d much rather be in a universe where I could possibly check my Facebook and have access to the internet.  I mean think about, if in Star Wars they can have hologram messages they must have the internet – how else will they get their porn?

9. You’re having a bad day, you’re upset, you’re angry, or you’re sad – what is your go-to comfort?

First thing I do is get myself a coffee, and depending on the degree of how upset I am, that usually helps quite a bit.  But for really terminal days, I usually go out for a sundae or cake with Ryan or one of my other lovely friends.  There’s nothing quite as comforting as crying in public and eating a banana split.

10. What is your favourite inspirational quote?
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”  – Winston Churchill

11. If they were to make a movie based on your life, who would play you, your leading lady/man, your best friend, and your rival?

I think my life would probably be a comedy film, and to play me I’d love it for Melissa McCarthy to play me.  I friggen love this lady, she’s beautiful, hilarious, and super talented, and I think she’d do a great job playing me (cause I’m hilarious, beautiful and super talented too!  See what I did there?).  Leading man is a tough one though, cause I’m just 22, so it’d be hard to make a movie based on me now – most of it would be a bit exaggerated and fictitious anyways.  So I’m gonna say Ryan Reynolds, because it’s a movie about me and I can make up whatever I want (plus they have really good chemistry, check out the movie “The Nines” if you ever can).  My best friends would be played by Sean Hayes and Katie Aselton, and my rival would be played by Tom Cruise (I don’t have a rival in real life, so I picked Tom Cruise cause I know he can do well in comedic roles, and he really gets on my nerves, so it’s perfect!).

12. Do you think the world is going to end in 2012?

No, absolutely not.  This past year we were supposed to have the apocalypse, and in 2000 the world was supposed to end with Y2K.  If anything happens in 2012, there’s nothing I can do to stop it, so I’m just going to enjoy my life.  There’s always going to be someone who thinks they know when the world will end, and I doubt the “world will end” in my lifetime.

13. If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?

I would love to say my body, or anything with my appearance.  But I think what I really want to change is my confidence level.  I feel insecure a lot of the time, and I’m very self-conscious.  I want to become more confident with myself as I am, love myself for who I am, and I think with that it won’t really matter to me what people think of me, because I’ll like myself. 

14. What is your favorite season and why?

Fall!  I love it because it’s not too warm or cold, it’s full of beautiful colours, and I don’t get allergies in the fall.  Plus I’m always so wiped from the summer, I find that the fall helps me to recuperate and reflect.

15. You’ve been bitten by a vampire. Would you fight it with all your undead being or would you embrace it for all it is worth?

Depends on what kind of vampire universe you’re talking about – if I was from Twilight, well I’d just stake myself and be done with it.  If I was in the Buffy vampire universe, I’d probably embrace it, cause they’re pretty cool and badass (take Spike for example).  If I was in the Blade universe, well I’d just go find the cure, duh!

16. Have you personally met any of your blogger friends?

Nope, most of them are out of the country, so it’s a bit hard to do so.  Not to say I’m opposed to the idea, I’d love to meet any of them!  If any of you are in the GTA (greater Toronto area) ever, let me know, I’d love to meet up over coffee.

17. What does your favourite pair of underwear look like?

First off, I’d like to mention that I have no granny panties.  I have a weird rule where I don’t buy underwear from a bag of 5, and the ones I do buy are typically $10 a pop or 3 for $20 (I don’t cheap out on my panties, no-sir-ee-Bob). That being said, I have a lot of favourite pairs.  Probably my favourite are ones made of entirely black lace – they’re sexy and they make my butt look fabulous. 

Wow, how uncomfortable did I make everyone?  I spent way too long explaining my underwear…

18. Have you ever drank something right from the container in the refrigerator knowing other people will have to drink out of the same container later?

Yup.  I know, it’s completely disgusting, but I’m sure I’ve done it.  I don’t do it often enough to even remember the last time I did it, but I’m sure I have.  I think everyone has been guilty of that at least once.

19. What is your favourite word and explain why?

Earlier this year I participated in a meme that Blaga from Broken Sparkles started which was all about your favourites of every season.  The last part of the meme was your all time favourites.  With that being said, the word I picked for that meme was:

Persevere
–verb (used without object)
1. to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly.
2. to persist in speech, interrogation, argument, etc.; insist.
–verb (used with object)
3. to bolster, sustain, or uphold: unflagging faith that had persevered him.

I know, a lot of you read “perverse” didn’t you?  Maybe that’s part of the reason I like it, people read it wrong and get a completely different impression of me.  I like this word so much because I feel it’s what I try to do with my life – that even with the worst of times I need to struggle through, to remain strong and fight through it.  As much as I may wish it was over, I don’t want to quit what I’m doing because I can be stronger than that.  I can’t stand people who give up on something easily, who quit just because things get a bit hard or because you have to work harder to get the outcome you want.  Well that’s life, and sometimes you have to climb through miles of shit to get to better ground.  A lot of the times things in life don’t go your fucking way, but you keep trying because that’s what you have to do.  I think a lot of people my age don’t realize that life isn’t just handed to you, that you’re not always going to get your dream job right away, you’re not going to just find your ideal partner for life – you have to work for these things.  That’s why I like the word persevere so much, because I think it alone holds the meaning of my life.

20. 2011 is soon coming to a close, is there anything you’d like to do different on your blog in the year 2012?

I’d like to uphold to a more consist updating schedule.  I’ve been really flakey this year, and I’ve really disappointed myself.  I have a lot of ideas of things I want to write about, but I have a hard time finding motivation, or the time to sit down and do it.  I’ve been learning how to rebalance my time now that I have more things that require my attention.  Usually I’m not working two jobs, so I’m still getting used to that sort of schedule.  I make an effort to see the friends that I can, so that is where some of my time goes to.  Now that I am in a relationship, I have less time to myself and more time going into that part of my life.  It’s all a learning process of how to allot time towards my personal projects.  I’ve been neglecting a lot of those personal projects though, and I know in 2012 I want to give myself time each week to update my blog.  I’m not doing it because I feel I owe anyone an update, I’m doing it because I feel I owe myself an update. 

Also, I’m hoping in 2012 to be less flakey with the blogs I follow.  I say this often and hardly follow through, but it isn’t out of not wanting to, it’s out of not enough time again.  So though I may not be able to read every single post I want to, I’ll try to read more than I have been, as well as commenting more. 

And with that, I just want to say thank you for stopping by, and I look forward to reading everyone’s posts (though it may take me a few days, I’ll try to do my best!).

2011 Community Network Meme Participation List

• Betwixt And Between
• Insignificant At Best
• Kay At The Keyboard
• WordsFallFromMyEyes
• Courage To Change
  
• Jackie Paulson~Writer
• I Shall Be A Toad
  
• Finding The Humor
• Over A Cup Of Coffee (that’s me )
• Morpho Designs
• Broken Sparkles
  
• Curiosity Killed The KAT
• Walking The Labyrinth
  
• Life Of Carbon
• ConchSaladesque
  
• Blue Jellybeans
  
• Disjointed Rhymings
• TheRealSharon’s Blog
  
• How Can I Complain?
  
• Morning Erection
  
• 2tha9s

I wasn’t going to post anything yet again, as I’ve had little time or inspiration to write anything lately.  But inspiration found me today, and I felt like I needed to let it out.  So I hope you enjoy this poem, and I hope everyone out there is doing well!  I apologize for my extreme delay once again in reading my fellow bloggers posts, I hope to find the time to catch up soon. 

You’ve Taken My Voice
Silence me, stifle me, suffocate me.
Police me with your policies,
sling your meaningless jargon at me,
strike me down with your false mandates.
Punish my passionate side -
erasing my vibrant reds and purples,
exchange them for black, khakis and blues.
Treat my protests as mere aggression,
sweep my personality under the rug
like your forgotten heart and soul.
Choke my essence out of me
with your greed tainted fingers,
stare me down with your soulless eyes.
Suck out my being with every
negative breath you take;
beat me until I’m broken -
steal me until I’m silenced
just like you.

What is that you may be asking?  Well for those of you didn’t read the title…it’s…

DUN DUN DUNNNNN!

It’s been a year since my previous installments of Coffee Wars, which was originally going to be a little series on my blog.  But due to laziness, and then being busy, it got pushed away and forgotten about for a little while.  But coffee is a huge part of my life, even more-so now that I work at a coffee shop, so Coffee Wars has never been too far from my mind.  During a short time around the fall, all of my favourite coffee shops enjoy a Fall themed holiday drink list.  What’s nice about it is that every shop tends to have a wide variety of drinks, and nothing is ever carbon copied from the other store.  There is one drink in particular that seems to make its way into every store though, and that is my favourite seasonal drink: The Pumpkin Spice latte.  I adore this latte, mostly because I love pumpkins.  I love seeing beautiful carved pumpkins, eating pumpkin seeds, The Great Pumpkin, pumpkin pie, pumpkin soup, just about everything pumpkin.  This is probably because pumpkins are associated with my favourite holiday: Hallowe’en.  I didn’t get to enjoy Hallowe’en this year, but alas, I did enjoy the lattes.  Now it is time to judge them, to find out who has the best Pumpkin Spice Latte!

Starbucks

First off, I apologize for the blurriness of the image – shaky hands comes with the caffeine lover territory. 

An issue I always encounter with Starbucks is the sweetness of their beverages.  They use a lot more sugar-syrup (used to give the drinks their distinct flavours) than most other coffee shops I find.  This can be really great if you really want something sweet, but if you aren’t a huge sweet-tooth, it can make the drinks a bit overbearing.  Despite this usual occurrence, I didn’t find this drink disgustingly sweet like a lot of their flavoured lattes can be.  It was sweet of course, but perhaps it was extra spice flavours of their pumpkin flavouring that distracted from the sweetness.

This drink to me did remind me of pumpkin pie, it had a nice balance of cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves.  The whipped cream on top reminded me of pumpkin pie after Thanksgiving dinner, so I think with that in mind, it gave the drink a nice edge compared to some other shops.  It was also the only latte that had an orange tinge to it (once you got passed the whipped cream that is).  That may be in part to how much sugar they add to it, but I thought it was night, it suited the “pumpkin spice” image.

Overall, I really enjoyed Starbucks latte.  It was presented nicely, and had a decent flavour.  Though if I had it on certain days were I just wanted a bit of sweetness, this one wouldn’t really “do it” for me.  I find I have to be in the right mood for a Starbucks drink, they just add too much stuff to their espresso and coffee.  That may be in part to a lot of people not liking the flavour of coffee, which is a shame, because that’s what it should be about.

Overall Score:
Appearance – 5/5
Flavour Balance – 4/5 
Overall Enjoyment – 4/5

Second Cup

Anyone who knows me knows that Second Cup is my favourite place to get coffee.  Mostly that’s because if I want a latte, I find even their sweetest lattes aren’t as sweet as Starbucks, and I prefer my lattes to have a nice balance between the sweetness and the coffee. 

One thing I noticed this year though, is that Second Cup is using a different type of flavouring for their pumpkin spice latte, it’s not much different, but there was just enough of a difference that I noticed it.  I found this flavouring to be a bit stronger in the nutmeg flavour, which isn’t a bad thing, but I found that it made the latte have a slightly earthy flavour.  I enjoyed this, but on occasion when I was in a different mood, it wasn’t giving me the dessert types of flavours that I usually associate with the a pumpkin pie.  It reminded me more of a pumpkin soup – which would have more of a nice balance between savoury and sweet.  Not to say I didn’t enjoy the latte, it was just…different. 

This year they added a caramel topping, which I didn’t enjoy as much.  Usually I wouldn’t get it with it on it, instead opting for a sprinkling of cinnamon, but for the sake of this post I got the caramel.  It did add a very nice appearance to the drink though, and for those hoping for a bit more sweetness, it does add a nice richness to the drink.  It’s just not something I was particular fond of.

Overall Score:
Appearance – 4/5
Flavour Balance – 4/5
Overall Enjoyment – 4/5

Williams Fresh Cafe (Formerly Williams Coffee Pub)

I have a love/hate relationship with Williams.  I don’t generally like their coffee, at least when compared to other places.  However I will admit, it does depend on the time of day – they don’t use carafes like Starbucks of Second Cup, so their coffee tends to get a burnt flavour as the day goes on.  Because they serve food and lots of other products, it does take them a while make drinks and bring them out, and it can be a little annoying if you just want it to go.  But despite that, I keep going back.  Mostly because once in a while I’m very pleasantly surprised.

I ordered their pumpkin spice latte and was very surprised.  Their latte had a really nice balance between sweetness and the savoury flavours of pumpkin pie and the spices attributed with that.  I didn’t find that it was overpowering with one spice or another, but everything was married together very nicely.  It was just sweet enough, but not too sweet that I couldn’t enjoy it. 

Appearance wise, I was also impressed.  Often the latte is rushed over, and is spilling half down my cup.  But on this particular time it looked perfect, or at the very least almost perfect.  The whipped cream was a nice finish, and the light dusting of cinnamon completed the drink.  Now, some may say it may have just been that I was having a good day, or was in a  good mood.  But after looking at this picture, I can recall when I ordered this – it was on a first date.  I remember that day I had a headache, I was nervous, and when I got there I wasn’t in the best mood.  So if I can enjoy a drink when I’m in a bad mood, and distracted by trying to impress someone, then that speaks a lot for the drink. 

Overall Score:
Appearance – 5/5
Flavour Balance – 5/5
Overall Enjoyment – 5/5

So, judging by the scores, Williams Fresh Cafe is the victor for this edition of Coffee Wars.  To be honest, I’m a little surprised.  Williams tends to disappoint me, but judging by their Pumpkin Spice Latte, they obviously still have a few tricks up their sleeves. 

 Before I end this post, I wanted to mention that on December 11th I will be participating in the Second Annual Community Networking Meme.  For rules of participation, check out the original post here.  To see my entry for last year’s post, click here.

Rust – Originally posted October 7, 2010
To the touch I’m cold as ice,
too long since I’ve felt the heat.
It’s been ages since I’ve been loved,
since my heart knew how to beat. 
You can sense me, for I am here,
but no longer do I know how to feel.
There is nothing – just the numbing
tingling, leftovers of what was real.
No longer do I feel the want, the need;
I do not know desire or lust.
I would try to love again, but
I’m afraid my heart has begun to rust.  

Transient – Originally posted September 9, 2010
I chose a path, and followed through -
leaving behind all I knew.
I said goodbye and went away,
not sure if I’d come back one day.
With the years I spent on my own
I have learned, and I have grown.
And with the choices that I’ve made,
all that’s passed began to fade.
Returning home, to this forgotten place -
unfamiliar; they do not know my face.
As I’ve changed, and grown, and became
who I am – they all have stayed the same.
And as I linger and tag along,
I know deep down I do not belong;
a wanderer – passing only by chance,
soon to leave without a second glance. 

"Wanderer" by Monika aka kas666 on deviantart.com

I Pass The Orchard
I pass the orchard in autumn’s day,
seeing all there is to see.
With crisp winds and skies of gray,
I pass the orchard in autumn’s day
to watch the leaves slowly die away.
Grieving the life of summer’s debris,
I pass the orchard in autumn’s day,
seeing all there is to see.

"Autumn Orchard" by Petrus Jansen aka petertreephotography on deviantart.com

Longing
Longing for grey to leave the skies,
wishing for sun to touch my face.
Awaiting the morn for the sun to rise -
longing for grey to leave the skies
and welcome soft, subtle sighs.
No rays of light to touch this place,
longing for grey to leave the skies -
wishing for sun to touch my face.

"Grey Star" by Ahmed Alromeadheen aka solidahmed from deviantart.com

Directed By: Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman

Generally I give up on a horror movie franchise by the second film – I’m a bit bitter towards sequels, especially with this genre in particular.  It seems to me that Hollywood now more than ever is just after a quick, easy buck.  Which of course makes sense, they are a business after all.  But that doesn’t mean that the product they are selling should be inferior or poorly produced, and Hollywood seems to have lost this concept.  Sequels, trilogies and never-ending series (like the Saw or Final Destination franchises, which should have been buried long ago) are examples of Hollywood’s focus on just the money rather than the product.  However, on occasion I have been surprised by sequels, and I was surprised with Paranormal Activity 3 – but in both a good and a bad way.

I went in thinking that it would be entertaining, yes, but good – of course not.  With that in mind, I was surprised to find a film that seemed to go back to the “roots” of the series.  The second film, though I enjoyed it, found that it had ventured more towards the easy scares and played to what the audience expected.  The third in the series while still containing more “scares” and just overall more action for the attention deficit movie goer, went back to what I loved about the first film: the suspense.

Keep in mind,  I may be spoiling major plot points of this film in the future paragraphs, and if you do not want to be spoiled, I’d advise you to either stop reading, or jump down to my last paragraph for my final thoughts on the film.

This film is set before the events of the second film (which in turn was set before the events of the first film).  So it’s a preprequel I guess.  This film focuses on Katie and Kristi when they were little girls in the late 80s.  Instead of me spending the entire review explain all the little details of the film, I’m going to go just into what I liked about it, and what I didn’t like about the film.

The movie itself was well made, there was a bigger budget for this film, but it didn’t look like it wasn’t “authentic” so to speak, they put a lot of effort into making it look like a home video from the late 80s which I enjoyed.  Part of the second one that I didn’t enjoy as much was that it was very crisp and clear, and to me it lost the element of realism that the first one had.  It felt like I was watching a movie trying to look like real footage, where as the first and third one had the look and feel of “real footage”. 

With the added budget though, they had a lot of cool new scares that I really enjoyed.  The use of the oscillating fan/camera hybrid that the character Dennis (the girls’ mother’s boyfriend) makeshifts helps with a lot of the suspense – there’s a lot of tension built when the camera pans away from something happening, it makes it unsettling for the audience.  My favourite little scare was with this camera in particular.  There’s a babysitter in the dining room, doing homework – the camera pans away to the living room to show a figure in a sheet, about the size of one of the two girls.  The camera pans back to the babysitter, and when the camera makes its way back to the living room, and there’s nothing there.  Back to the babysitter, and the figure is standing behind her.  Just as she turns around, the sheet collapses, and there’s nothing underneath it.  It didn’t make me jump or scream, but the effect itself was very good, and it really helped build the tension of the scene.  Stuff like this mixed with an “old school” look as well as more of an emphasis on building tension I think helped merge the first and two films together, so more people could enjoy it.  I know some people didn’t like the first one because they thought it was boring – whereas people like me enjoyed it because it was more about what didn’t happen, and what you didn’t see.  The second film to me felt like it had less suspense and more jump scares.  I felt like the third one was a nice balance between both of these.

Another thing I enjoyed with this film is the characters.  There were more people in the movie, which I feel helped it a bit.  The first film only had four people in it – Katie, Micah, Katie’s friend and the priest.  Though it helped focus the story and events on the two main characters, I felt that it was a tiring, because to me the couple had very little chemistry (even before the weird stuff really started to happen).  The second film was a bit more of an improvement, but it was still a bit annoying (for me at least).  This film had a really good couple to play off of, the characters Julie and Dennis.  Julie is Kristi and Katie’s mother, and I felt that her character fit in well with the established series.  I really enjoyed her relationship with Dennis because even with all the weird stuff happening, it never felt like their relationship was “falling apart” like in the other films, that they still cared for each other even when they were upset, tired, or angry at each other.  I felt it added a level of believability, and it made me just really enjoy their characters.  The young Katie and Kristi were very good as well, especially Kristi because she was more of the focus of the demon’s haunting (because she was younger I suppose).  For young children actors, they did a good job making me believe they were scared.  Another character I felt was a good addition was Dennis’ friend Randy.  He was more of just a comic relief I suppose, but I enjoyed it.  Overall, I think the more characters in the film helped make it feel more real – because in reality, I see a lot of people all the time, so it feels right that there’d be more people being involved with what’s happening.  It just feels a bit more genuine I suppose. 

Yeah, this doesn't happen in the movie.

There are some things about this film I didn’t enjoy though, or at least feel detracted from what was done right.  One obvious thing is the trailer.  In every trailer or tv spot there are scenes shown that were never in the film.  The most obvious one is a priest being present.  I’m almost positive they tested this with an audience and changed the ending, which makes me really curious to see how it was going to end or where the film was originally going to go.  From the trailer, I was expecting the house to burn down, like Katie had mentioned in the first film.  Maybe it’s good that the film went in a very different direction than I expected, however, this left a lot of holes and questions asked.  The biggest one I had during the film is what happened to the girl’s father?  I believe he was mentioned once in the film, the grandmother had mentioned that they missed their father.  Did he die?  Did they divorce?  My questioning mind wonders if perhaps something supernatural happened to him, especially considering he was credited on IMDB as a character.  I also wonder about continuity – at the end of the film, it appears that both Julie and Dennis meet an unfortunate fate, and I can’t recall in the other previous films if it was mentioned that they lived with their grandmother or not.  Stuff like that just gets on my nerves a lot, maybe I’m nitpicking, but it does bother me.  But seriously, pretty much nothing from the trailer was in the film – that’s just…unexpected.

Another thing I am still not sure about is the ending.  I can’t really explain why it bothers me unless I explain it, so I apologize for being wordy.  But here is my description:

The family ends up going to Julie’s mother’s house after them getting scared about everything happening.  Before this decision is made, it shows the demon attacking Katie, and Kristi pleading for it to let her go.  She tells Toby (the name she gives the demon in the film) that she’ll “do it” if he lets her sister go.  After they are at the grandmothers’ house, during the evening Dennis wakes up hearing something that sounds like car doors shutting.  Julie goes to investigate, but doesn’t come back.  He grabs the camera and tries to find her.  He checks in on the girls and they are gone.  He sees a strange shadow in the living room, and investigates.  Inside he sees pagan markings on the wall, similar to ones mentioned earlier in the film.  He continues looking for Julie and the girls, and walks in on a bunch of women dressed in black, in the middle of some sort of ritual, he retreats as they follow him. Locking the doors into the house, he tries to find Julie and the two girls.  He sees Julie propped awkwardly at the top of the stairs, levitating of the ground.  Attempting to grab her, she is flung at him down the stairs, landing hard at the bottom.  It wasn’t very clear if she survived or not, but I’m guessing not.  Kristi appears in the next room, scared, he grabs her and they hide in the closet.  Something starts attacking the door; after a few moments of silence, he opens the door to find Katie at the stairs, crying.  Apprehensively, he approaches, and just as he reaches her, she turns and screams at him – sounding like the demon “Toby”, and is flung backwards, sending the camera crashing.  He crawls forward, clearly injured, and the girls’ grandmother appears.  She looks at Dennis, and then he is lifted awkwardly, his back is snapped.  She calls over Kristi, and takes both girls’ hands and heads up stairs.  As the ascend, Kristi happily says “come on Toby!”.  This is where the film leaves us.

This bother’s me a bit for a few reasons.  For one, it was established in the first film that the entity was a demon, so no problems there.  But in the second one, it is then established that on occasion a human can make a deal with a demon for wealth or power by forfeiting the life of the first-born son, and that no sons had been born in their family since their great-great-grandmother.  I realize that this isn’t “hard facts” in the series, that this is all speculative, but I don’t understand the motivation for this coven of witches, or whatever they were, to forfeit the first-born son.  What are they gaining from it?  Why do they offer this to this entity?  It wasn’t a bad ending by any means, but I felt it left too many questions, too many things open-ended.  I was hoping this would be the final film in the series, and that this film would answer the questions the other films had left – the biggest being was the why.  And though there was a sort of answer, I don’t feel that sort-of is really enough for me.

Again, this series has left me feeling torn.  I enjoyed the film a lot – but was it as good as the first?  Of course not.  Though the first was not the first type of “found footage” horror film ever, and this new one will not be the last – but the first film was a gamble for the filmmaker.  With less budget, I felt like they put a lot more into it, just a lot more of themselves.  Without a huge budget, the effectively told a good story, and made it genuinely scary.  The third film is also a good film, but I find that as more is told about this family and their plight with the supernatural, there is less given to the audience.  For every question answered, two more questions are asked.  The first film left you wondering what happened, but it was satisfying not knowing, because it was an experience in itself.  The second film asked more questions, leaving me feeling a bit “empty” so to speak, and this third film to me felt like it cheapened out on giving me the answers I feel as a fan of the series that I deserve.  But despite that, I think the third film is overall an improvement on the second film.  It had a much stronger cast of characters, it was well acted, and there was some really cool scares.  Though I was a bit mixed about the ending, it is still a good ending.  Maybe it’s good that it didn’t meet my expectations, it was a lot more surprising for sure.  I think fans of the series will enjoy it.  If you didn’t like the first or second film, I don’t think the third one will win you over.

ScareMeter: 4/5 “Clutching your best friends hand throughout the film scary” (though for me, it was probably more of a 3/5 – it had its moments, but I’m quite desensitized to the horror genre now).
Overall Movie Rating: 3.5/5

I love the site Thatguywiththeglasses.com, so I thought I’d share the Bum Review with you guys if you were interested.  Just click here, and underneath the Bum Review is Doug’s actual thoughts on the film.  I disagree with him on some parts, but it is interesting to hear his thoughts on it.  He liked the second one better, while I think I like this one better.  However, maybe if I rewatch the second one I’ll feel different.  I think what I most remember from that film is the bad theatre experience, if I rewatch it and change my mind, I’ll let you guys know..