30 Days of Blogging Honesty (+1 Dare) – Day 23

“Allowing another person to fully love me means I must…”

This is a tough question.  Mostly because love can represent so many different relationships and to me each one works a little different.

I think one thing I have to do to fully love someone is to accept them for they are, including all of their good qualities and all of their faults.  No one is perfect, especially me; for me to fully love someone, I have to accept their not-so-great qualities and make peace with them.  I try to see them as idiosyncrasies instead of something negative.  Everyone does something that may be annoying to someone else, and if you can’t learn to live with those things that will never, ever change, then you’re not really leaving yourself up to be loved by this person.

Another thing I must do to allow someone to really love me fully, is I need to be vulnerable to this person.  Which may sound easy for some, but for me, it’s not that easy.  I have a wall up quite a bit of the time, mostly to save face.  To allow someone to love me, they need to have this wall come down.  And that’s not to say I don’t let my wall down from time to time with my friends, it’s just a lot of the time I don’t want them to be upset or even to see me as weak (which I know in my mind they never will because they’re awesome, but it’s that worry-wart inside me that thinks that).  For example – with my boyfriend, he wanted me to stop hiding my feelings because when I do that I bottle them up and then I end up exploding and in turn, what happens is a “dropped bagel incident”.  Once while we were at Tim Horton’s in the morning, this was right after my birthday and two weeks prior to that, we had a fight.  Well, we didn’t see each other until the night of my birthday.  So for two whole weeks, we rarely spoke, texted, or even saw each other.  I wanted to give him his space, while ignoring my own feelings of insecurities, so I held them in.  That morning, I dropped my bagel on the floor, and I started crying.  That poor boy had no idea what was going on.  So after that I promised to be open with how I’m feeling.  Which may have been bad for him because lately I’ve been crying a lot, but beggars can’t be choosers (and he’s not complaining, so I guess that’s a good thing).

I think one thing I also have to do to fully allow someone to love me is to know when to back down.  I can be a persistent, stubborn, asshole – and don’t object, it is true sometimes.  Sometimes I get in my moods and I’m snarky.  Sometimes I have every right to stand my ground or to wait for the other person to apologize – sometimes I don’t, sometimes I’m stupid and I do stupid things and people have a right to be mad.  However, what I’m getting at is that I know sometimes there isn’t a point fighting, especially over something like a misunderstanding, or something small.  I love the people in my life, I love my friends, my family, and my boyfriend.  I know that sometimes – well actually – a lot of the time, it’s better just to make up than to be right or to win a fight.  I try to not to fight with people but you know, life happens and sometimes people get in conflicts.  I said in my previous question post that someone has to be able to meet me halfway, to be able to compromise with me – when it comes to conflicts, I know that I need to do that too.  I can have really strong principles, and I can be stubborn, but when it comes to the really important stuff, that little thing called pride means dick if you have no one left in your life to love.  When it comes to disagreements, I will do anything to make sure I keep the people I love in my life, they’re the best part of me.

"where is the love?" by julkusiowa on deviantart.com

The most up to date list available of participants: Nicole, Last Civilized Woman, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, Happyhippierose, Aurathena, Melanie, Marliz3e, TheFerkel, Prysmatique, AnonymousBurn, Caroline, Koi, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Princesa Musang, DLonelyStar, LJ, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Primadonna Zel, and Tom Baker. NSFW Sites: Everything Love & Lust, TemptingSweets99, Sofia.

3 thoughts on “30 Days of Blogging Honesty (+1 Dare) – Day 23

  1. this is a great answer. I think we all get that we have to be vulnerable, but taking the next step and taking ownership of what YOU need to do (learn to back down) is huge. Most people struggle with that.

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