Poetry Thursday #80

We had a loss in our family on Thursday, April 12, 2012.  I don’t want to write much more because it’s a hard topic to find the right words for.  I did write a poem, and though they may  not be the right words, they explain how I feel about it.  All I know is that I will miss him dearly, and our family loved him so much.  I will never understand the loss of a loved one – but how can you ever understand it?

To Andy
I wonder where you went
on the day that you left us.
I never used to believe
that heaven existed.

But perhaps whatever watches us
alone in the night, as we weep
for your loss and the emptiness,
and this void in our hearts -

perhaps this thing, this
God, all-knowing, all-taking
being – maybe it took you.
For without you, it was empty too.

An artist, a soul searcher,
a thinker, a learner, a craftsman:
too beautiful for this earth
that God or “god” became greedy.

If I now believe in heaven,
I know it will be a more beautiful,
wonderful place now that
you grace its plane.

I think I have to believe
in something more than this Earth.
I need to hope that one day
we will see your face again.

"The Way to Heaven" by Wolf-Minori on deviantart.com

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16 thoughts on “Poetry Thursday #80

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss :( You were perfectly poignant and eloquent – your emotion really shows, and you wrote something moving that you should be very very proud of. You know you have our love <3

  2. Beautiful post. Your words remind me much of my daughter. She wonders a lot about heaven and it’s existence after 2 of her dear friends committed suicide within a year of each other. It’s been a long road to recover her faith, and I don’t think she’s quite made peace with any of it, but if you don’t mind, I’d just like to encourage you to believe there is a place where you will meet again…

    • I will tell you flat out I don’t practice religion, nor do I find it has a place for me in my life. However, that does not mean I have no spiritual beliefs. I suppose I feel conflicted because I don’t understand how some supernatural being could take away a man in his early 50s from his loving family, when he still has so much life to live – and then lets rapists, murderers and pedophiles roam free. I guess I’m angry, but I dont think that’s wrong to feel angry at death.

      I’m also conflicted because I want to believe in heaven, when I’m not sure if I really do. That’s why I wrote the poem.

      However, thank you for your kind words, they do mean a lot to me.

      • I share your conflict! Deeply. I don’t really do church and all that jazz. A bunch of people in fancy clothes asking for what little money I have? No thanks! I was raped when I was 6 years old, and that man lived out his days free as a bird. I was so angry about it. I even tried to kill myself when I was 6 or7, but, believe it or not, I saw God and Jesus sitting in a Ferris Wheel Car hanging from a cloud. So I hung around on this earth, and when I was 23 I heard he died of a brain tumor. Have you ever read The Shack? It’s just a novel, not a preachy book, just a man’s story, but it helped me make peace with some of those conflicts, so if you ever get around to it, you might give it a read…

        • I’m very sorry to hear about your past, I’m glad you’ve worked through them and seems like you’re a very strong person!

          I think I have heard of it, but I never really gave it a look before – I’ll check it out next time I’m at the bookstore!

  3. dont forget the happy memorys
    the laughter fun and all the birthdays
    as these are what will help you through
    the grieving at this time you must go through
    and when the dark clouds float away
    sunshine and happiness will return again
    remember him as he remembered you
    his smile his laughter and funny things he would do
    he hasnt gone faraway
    but is watching over you today
    he will always remember you
    in his thoughts your special too
    as he was part of your life too
    be happy for him as he rests in peace
    as angels watch over him
    in his special place
    may the lord bless him
    and help you and your family today
    as you remember Andy in your special ways

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